


The Angel Living In Your Heart

by sosubtlelarry



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Self Harm, i don't like writing self harm things this maybe the only one, self hate, skinny love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-17
Updated: 2013-02-17
Packaged: 2017-11-29 13:43:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/687634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sosubtlelarry/pseuds/sosubtlelarry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis hurts himself. When Harry finds out, he blames himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Angel Living In Your Heart

**Author's Note:**

> the title is from Skin by Sixx A.M.

Louis sighed blissfully, the blade cutting through his skin on his wrist. The blood dripping down his left arm lifts the pain away. The pain of knowing you’re not good enough for anyone and you’re fat and what people say about you is true but mostly knowing your best friend will never love you the way you love him. Because he deserves so much better and he’s straight. He wouldn’t love me anyway, Louis thought, I’m stupid and fat and ugly and a boy.

Louis got up from his place on the floor next to the tub. He grabbed the towel from its place on the counter wrapping it around his wrist, tightly and securely. Once the blood stopped flowing, he bent down to open the cabinet under the sink and placed the blade back in its respective hiding place. He walked out of the bathroom and threw the towel into the washing machine in the laundry room, turning it on so Harry wouldn’t see it. This would be the only time Louis would do the laundry in their house and he hoped Harry wouldn’t ask why.

-

The boys were over at Louis and Harry’s flat to hang out because they haven’t done that in a while. It’s not that Louis didn’t mind them coming over but he really wanted to spend some time with Harry today. At the moment they were all watching some show on the tv in the living room. Harry was sprawled across the couch his arms under his head with Louis cuddling up to him while the rest of the boys sat on the floor. Harry shifted so Louis slipped a bit from his arms but harry quickly reached back to get him, snuggling with him again. Louis looked up at Harry and smiled fondly as he watched him watch tv, oblivious to Louis’ feelings, oblivious to Louis and looked over his face. He was so beautiful and his face was perfectly sculptured and his green, green eyes and his smile was genuine and perfect. Louis sighed quietly, and snuggled up to Harry more, who tightened his arms around him.

Louis looked back to the screen but saw Niall looking at him, an eyebrow raised. Louis mouthed ‘what?’ to him but Niall shook his head. He got up and went into the kitchen silently signaling Louis to follow. Louis was about to get about when Harry made a disapproving noise and pulled Louis back down. “Where ya going Lou, stay with me.” Harry whispered to him. “Just the kitchen mate, I’ll be right back.” Louis whispered back, watching Harry nod as he left.

“What Niall?” Louis asked, though he knew what he wanted to talk about. “Why were you staring at Harry?’ Niall asked. Louis shrugged. “’Dunno what you’re talking about.” He said acting as if nothing was going on. But everything was going on. Niall gave him a look that read really because you were just staring at harry like he was a walking angel. “Ok fine, so maybe I like Harry.” Louis mumbled, wanting to get rid of the pressure he felt under Niall’s gaze. “Knew it, so when are ya gonna tell him?” He asked because he obviously didn’t realize he couldn’t tell him. “I’m not…” Louis trailed off making it sound like a question. “Why not? He obviously likes you too.” Niall says confused. “Because I’m fat and ugly and stupid and I have a stupid voice and he’s him! He is perfect beyond belief and he deserves someone equally as perfect. Oh, yeah not to mention he’s straight.” He said maybe too loud, hoping nobody heard. Louis didn’t notice but during his small rant he moved his arms through the air for emphasis and his sleeves had rolled up. Both of them. Niall could see his cuts.

Louis looked up at Niall with his arms still in mid-air and saw a look of shock written across his pale face. He followed Niall’s eyes to his left arm where new and old white lines were visible. Louis gasped in horror and pulled his sleeves down, running out of the kitchen and to his bedroom bathroom, locking the door.

-

Harry, Liam and Zayn heard two loud bangs, picking their heads up to see what happened. Then Niall walked in looking a bit shocked and sad. “What happened Ni?” Liam asked. “Where’s Louis?” Harry, of course, asked. “I wanted to talk to him about..um..something and I guess I made him a little upset.” Niall said, making it sound more like a question than a statement. “What’d you two talk about then?” Zayn asked. “Uh…” Niall hesitated, looking towards Harry. Niall sighed. “He’s gonna kill me,” he mumbled. “I saw him staring at Harry and thought he’d like to talk about it…and um, he stormed out.” Niall said leaving the most important part out. “You’re leaving something out Ni, I can tell. What else happened?” Liam asked. “Why was Louis staring at me?” Harry said, confused.

“He…his arm…” Niall said, starting to tear up. Zayn got up from the couch and gave Niall a hug, not wanting the boy to cry. “He cuts.” Niall finally said, letting out a breath of relief. The boys all gasped. “Louis? But he’s always so…happy.” Liam said shocked. “My baby cuts?” Harry mumbled to himself. Maybe Louis was his boyfriend in his mind but no one needed to know that. “Wait…Where’s Louis now?” Zayn asked. “I think he went to his bathroom, why?” “Niall.” Zayn stated. A look of realization crossed his face. “Oh my god!” Harry yelled, jumping up from his seat on the couch and running to Louis’ bedroom. Luckily Louis didn’t lock this door.

Harry banged on the bathroom door. “Louis. Louis, open up! It’s Harry!” Harry said jiggling the door knob like it was going to open. “No! Leave me alone!” Harry heard Louis say his voice shaky. “Louis please,” Harry quieted his voice. “Please don’t hurt yourself baby. Please…please.” Harry said, leaning his head against the door, his fist resting on it.

Louis shook his head to himself, taking the blade running it across his skin four more times on his right arm, along with the other new cuts he had made. A broken sob came from his mouth, which initiated more and more till he was full out crying. Harry’s heart clenched hearing him, his Louis, so broken to pieces. Harry had to scoop him into his arms and hold him, protecting him from the world. Harry went to find something, anything, to help him open the door. Finally Harry noticed a bobby pin, most likely belonging to him and used it to pick the lock on the door.

Getting the lock to click, Harry burst opened the door and dropped to his knees as he saw the sight before him. Louis was sat next to the tub his head in his arms, the right dripping with blood. “Louis.” Harry said scooping him into his arms, after grabbing a towel from the counter top, wrapping it around the older boys arm. “Sshh, sshh. Baby, please stop crying. I’m here, I’m here.” Harry said trying to calm Louis down, rubbing his back. He unwrapped the towel from Louis’ arm and gasped in horror at the word written across his arm. Worthless.

“Oh Louis.” Harry said, holding back his tears, wanting to stay strong for Louis. “H-Harry.” Louis mumbled into his chest as he calmed a bit. “It’s true, you know. I am worthless. No one cares anymore, no. No one really had.” Louis mumbled again. “No Lou. I care. I always’d cared about you. I care about you so much, please don’t hurt yourself anymore. This is all my fault.” Harry said, mad at himself that he never noticed this about his best friend. “Harry, no. Don’t you ever, ever, blame yourself for this. It is not your fault.” Louis said, pulling his head up and looking at Harry straight in the eye with his bloodshot ones. Harry nodded, not believing him. He knew it was his fault, he could have saved Louis.

“Come on let’s get you cleaned up and ready for bed, okay baby?” Harry said, pulling Louis up as he stood. Louis nodded. Harry washed Louis up then took Louis to his bedroom. “You’re sleeping with me tonight, okay?” Harry asked, not accepting no as an answer. Louis nodded, yawning. Harry laid Louis down, helping him with his clothes. Harry unbuttoned his jeans and pulled them down, leaving his boxers on. When he got his shirt, Louis made a noise of protest. “No!” Louis all but shouted, holding Harry’s wrist. “It’s okay Louis. You trust me, right?” Harry asked. Louis nodded. Harry carefully took his shirt of and threw it somewhere on the ground. Harry glanced at Louis’ left arm seeing more white lines. His arm was a canvas full of paint so he had to find another. Harry stood, taking his own clothes off to his boxers, throwing it carelessly to the ground.

Harry got under the blankets pulling Louis down with him, holding him close. Harry took Louis’ right arm into his hand and started to kiss his each and every cut. “Harry…” Louis said warily, a sleepy look on his face. “Sshh, go to sleep love.” Louis nodded. Harry made his way to Louis’ left arm when he spoke again. “Harry?” The younger looked up, feeling a poke to his cheek. “Yeah?” He asked, smiling a fond smile down at Louis. “I love you.” Louis said, waiting for Harry’s reaction. He didn’t even flinch but his eyes sparkled and his smile brightened. “I love you too, Lou.”


End file.
